Från mjölkbutiken, klockan fem
ett litet mumintroll gick hem.
En kanna full med mjölk han bar
och vägen lång och kuslig var
och vinden suckade och ven
i skogens alla mörka trän -
det var ej långt från skymingen.
VAD TROR DU ATT DET HÄNDE SEN?
The legend of Tove Jansson, in transfer. She loves it.
The only reason I have not yet reported on any of the races in the F1 season so far, is… äh, screw it. I absolutely despise people who blame lack of time. I’m just going to get on wid it.
First and foremost, let me just point out that this season is awesome for three reasons:
a) Hamilton is sucking.
b) New world order.
c) Button & Vettel.
And hey ho like so we ignore the first few races and find ourselves on the most overdeveloped rock in the world, Monaco. Oh, Monacoo. Coo coo coo. If there ever was one place where it would seem impossible to race a F1 car, it is Monaco. Yet, the race is the crown jewel of the series. Inexplicable? Au contraire. Bring the racing to the people, not vice versa. In fact, bring the racing to the people who are immune to fiscal crisis, to the people with gold tans (not just golden) and topless honeys on arm, better yet, let them park their floating palaces next to the track, chill the champagne and hey presto, where the rich and beautiful go, the poor follow - or aspire to follow.
And whereas we have followed the alluring scent of the Eurotrash, the F1 drivers have been following Jenson Button. Could it really be - Button world champion 2009? I dare say I never thought I’d say so. And this is why the 2009 season is fantastic.
Besides, Button is a dude, and deserved a break. Sure, F1 is all about the car, but Jenson is giving it to ol’ Ruben no less than old Shu did. Today sealed the deal for me - Button was superb, won Monaco easypeasy prettypenny. Fickle as I am, I have decided to back Button this year.
Who can stop him anyway? Perhaps my favorite German, Vettel. But he was off today, off in a big way. Anyone else? Kimi? Well, he is a hundred million points back, but let’s just see what Ferrari whips up in the coming races. If they can focus on the racing instead of bickering with FIA, we can look forward to banging with Brawn in the second half of the season.
BMW? Jeez.
The sun sets over the yachts in the marina of marinas. The breeze is cool. You better Button up.
I just spent a week in France, courtesy of Sealed Air. Usually, these things are all work and no play, but this time it was all work and still a bit of time for play. There is something about France that brings out the great and greedy hedonist in you, and I blame the food. And the wine. And the scenery. I won’t muck about - I love France. I always have.
Since we were staying out in the countryside, in Bourgogne country, there were splendid opportunities to sample the local and rather famous Chablis variety. May the sound of my tongue hitting the ceiling in my mouth reveal my delight. Tat-tat-tat-tat!
I mentioned the food. I’ve been gorging on foie gras and escargot and all sorts of choco fondants for for a week - no mystery all my pants feel tight around the waist. Actually, I don’t have a waist anymore. It’s just gone plump.
By the way, why is it that a crème brûlée is so much better in France than in any other country? I have always wondered. I simply have to get a blow torch…
Oh, if there is anyone out there with a good recipe for gougère, you must send it to me. You must!
And then, after a good week’s brainstorming, our fantastic team of rookie sales managers celebrated with a Karting tournament. Have no doubt - this was as serious as a heart attack. If you have not been around Sealed Air sales people, you need to know that they eat weak and shit losers. All that matters is success, and the winner takes all. Hearts were pumping pure testosterone. Everyone was eyeing the podium with shamelessly greedy thoughts in mind…
The track was wet, kicking up spray like crazy. I have not done karting outdoors before, never mind driving in the wet with slick tires. But racing is racing; don a helmet, and I turn into a beast.
First, there was qualifying. My gawd, was it slippery sideways! Braking late, the kart wanted to switch ends with you, power on too early, better be quick with those hands. Said and done, I found myself on… yes, pole position.
And the race. Slow off the line, but I had the inside line. After that, I just moved into my zone, and drove away. Let me not be humble - I kicked ass with awesome authority! I never spun once, I had the fastest lap, and I won the Sealed Air GP by 18 seconds. Dudes, I lapped up to fourth position, and I got a gold medal to prove it. Bragging rights are mine, all mine, kapow kapow!
I take the winner’s liberty of posting the results right here:
Man, it’s good to win. I recommend the feeling.
And if you’re ever down in Joigny, pop in for a spin. It’s a killer circuit. My teeth are bleeding. I gotta go again…
I gotta go again, I gotta go again, I gotta go go gokarting again!