Bond, James Bond. Every man wants to be Bond, and every woman wants to be with Bond. Or has time finally caught up with dear ol’ double-OH?
After appointment with M, it will be my secret mission for the next week or so to find out whether Bond is still relevant. The climax will be a movie analysis of Casino Royale, the latest addition to the Bond agent tree.
Already, this much is clear: Daniel Craig has broad shoulders – but are they broad enough to carry my hopes?
In the meanwhile, I want and need and beg and plead for some answers to the most critical questions in the world. These questions, none of which concern the cure for cancer or the third world famine, go as follows:
007. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND-ACTOR?
002. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND-BABE?
003. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND BADDIE?
004. WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND MOVIE?
005. WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND QUOTE?
Motivations will be allowed, appreciated, adored, even. Lemon Prizes are bonus. If for some reason you don’t speak Bond as fluently as I do, and thus have problems with, say, agent-question 005, cheat by using the internet. Oh, and if you find it difficult to get started, just imagine the Cold War is still going on… that always gets me into suitable nostalgia.
This is my personal model solution to what’s wrong with the world today:
007: Sean Connery, licensed to kill, the baddest man with the hairiest chest and the sexiest accent. No one else comes close. [Lemon prize: Pierce Brosnan, the stumpy Irishman who nearly obliterated my passionate Bond-fascination.]
002: Daniela Bianchi, as Daniela Romanova in From Russia With Love. Strange choice, I’ve heard, but she’s cute and I want to marry her and that’s all I can say about that. I also have a thing for Jane Seymour, as Solitaire in Live And Let Die. And frankly, I also have a thing for just about every other Bond Babe – [except for Lemon Prize loser Izabella Scorupco. Ridiculous screaming. BlÃ¤h.]
003: Telly Savalas as Ernst Stavro Blofeld. I think I relate to his wonderfully bold head. Oddjob and Blofeld’s angora cat get honorary awards. [Lemon Prize goes to that lousy nobody Jonathan Pryce in the totally forgettable Tomorrow Never Dies.]
004: It’s a tie at the top – From Russia With Love and On Her Majesty’s Secret Service are explosion-free, gadget-less, plotdriven, wonderful stories. And play with this thought: Imagine if Sean Connery had done On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.. ho snap!
Anyhoo, I love all Bond movies with a passion, apart from the last three: [Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day… damn, I wanted to die the same day. A trio of Lemon Prizes, s’il vous plaÃ®t.]
005: Connery pats Shirley Eaton on her bottom, and says “Run along dear, man talk.” I wish I had the guts to do that someday… harharhar! Silver award to this one: The girl with big, hrm, lungs [Lana Wood] says “Hi, I’m Plenty.”
“Of course you are” Connery replies.
“Named after your father, perhaps?”
No Lemon Prizes in this category – I’m too busy falling off my chair…