every man’s alter ego

Bond, James Bond. Every man wants to be Bond, and every woman wants to be with Bond. Or has time finally caught up with dear ol’ double-OH?
After appointment with M, it will be my secret mission for the next week or so to find out whether Bond is still relevant. The climax will be a movie analysis of Casino Royale, the latest addition to the Bond agent tree.
Already, this much is clear: Daniel Craig has broad shoulders – but are they broad enough to carry my hopes?

In the meanwhile, I want and need and beg and plead for some answers to the most critical questions in the world. These questions, none of which concern the cure for cancer or the third world famine, go as follows:

007. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND-ACTOR?

002. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND-BABE?

003. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND BADDIE?

004. WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND MOVIE?

005. WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND QUOTE?

Motivations will be allowed, appreciated, adored, even. Lemon Prizes are bonus. If for some reason you don’t speak Bond as fluently as I do, and thus have problems with, say, agent-question 005, cheat by using the internet. Oh, and if you find it difficult to get started, just imagine the Cold War is still going on… that always gets me into suitable nostalgia.

This is my personal model solution to what’s wrong with the world today:

007: Sean Connery, licensed to kill, the baddest man with the hairiest chest and the sexiest accent. No one else comes close. [Lemon prize: Pierce Brosnan, the stumpy Irishman who nearly obliterated my passionate Bond-fascination.]

002: Daniela Bianchi, as Daniela Romanova in From Russia With Love. Strange choice, I’ve heard, but she’s cute and I want to marry her and that’s all I can say about that. I also have a thing for Jane Seymour, as Solitaire in Live And Let Die. And frankly, I also have a thing for just about every other Bond Babe – [except for Lemon Prize loser Izabella Scorupco. Ridiculous screaming. Bläh.]

003: Telly Savalas as Ernst Stavro Blofeld. I think I relate to his wonderfully bold head. Oddjob and Blofeld’s angora cat get honorary awards. [Lemon Prize goes to that lousy nobody Jonathan Pryce in the totally forgettable Tomorrow Never Dies.]

004: It’s a tie at the top – From Russia With Love and On Her Majesty’s Secret Service are explosion-free, gadget-less, plotdriven, wonderful stories. And play with this thought: Imagine if Sean Connery had done On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.. ho snap!
Anyhoo, I love all Bond movies with a passion, apart from the last three: [Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day… damn, I wanted to die the same day. A trio of Lemon Prizes, s’il vous plaît.]

005: Connery pats Shirley Eaton on her bottom, and says “Run along dear, man talk.” I wish I had the guts to do that someday… harharhar! Silver award to this one: The girl with big, hrm, lungs [Lana Wood] says “Hi, I’m Plenty.”
Of course you are” Connery replies.
Plenty O’Toole.”
Named after your father, perhaps?

No Lemon Prizes in this category – I’m too busy falling off my chair…

2,068 thoughts on “every man’s alter ego”

  1. Because “connerie”? Hey, I’m not smart enough to figure that one out…

    I agree that the books are awesome! OK, since you are not a movie person, I’ll tell you what: why don’t you adapt the questions to fit Fleming’s finest, and get back with clever answers?

  2. 007. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND-ACTOR?
    Daniel Craig… although I haven’t seen him as Bond yet. Sean C otherwise. I didn’t dislike Brosnan too much, but it DEFINITELY was time for a change.

    002. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND-BABE?
    You mean I can only have one?!!!
    Eva Green and Jane Seymour

    003. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND BADDIE?
    Whisper, ha haa. Or maybe not. Oddjob – I like his hat!

    004. WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND MOVIE?
    Sorry, can’t choose. I need to compare them side by side ones again. And that will take a while… and first I need to buy them! Lemon prize is easier: The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day… and Tomorrow Never Dies is a close #3. At least Brosnan did one good movie ‘Golden Eye’.

    005. WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE BOND QUOTE?
    – “Do you expect me to talk?” – Bond
    – “No, I expect you to die Mister Bond!” – Goldfinger

  3. Excellent choices! It also seems as though your anticipations on the new Bond movie are rather high as well… my jury is still out on DC and Eva Green.
    Whisper is great – I always liked the fat silent slowmoving Whisper too! And what a great name! Unexpected choice, of course – his role is small, and not many would have thought of that.
    Yep, Auric “I’ve been expecting you, Mister Bond” Goldfinger had some terrific lines!

  4. I’ve seen the future – the new Bond – and the future is Daniel Craig. By far the best Bond yet, and the most faithful to the character created by Fleming. After all, the original Bond was a professional hitman, a dark killing machine, not the tanned womanising coctail-sipping joke he had become in the last few films.

  5. A lot of people tell me that… and I believe them. I WANT to believe them. Casino Royale is sleeping soundly on the hard disc of my computer, and I will soon wake it up. Gawd, I hope there’s not too many explosions…

  6. Oy! You will do mr Bond a serious disservice watching him on anything smaller than a full cimema screen.

    Do it in style. Get out, get a date and take her to the cinema, buy some popcorn and enjoy the show.

  7. Too much work & distraction. I fly solo. I don’t want to listen to irrelevant nagging or color commentary when I watch my double-OH.
    Methinks I’ll hook my computer to my 50in Sony, put on my Brioni tux, and let the cork of a 53′ Dom hit the ceiling…

    Does popcorn work with vintage Dom Perignon? Wait – I’ll answer that myself: But of course, Miss Moneypenny!

    [Sunday, eh? I’m in a hurry to get there before that, then!]

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