Backer than the backest back, blacker than the blackest black, my bestest imaginary friend in the whole wide world, how I missed you! Oh how I missed you! Can you, from that sentence, tell that I’m on the verge of fucking fainting from the giddiest druggiest diggiest most devilish dr. feelgood feeling I’ve ever experienced since I saw Bond on the big screen for the first time as a young kid and said to myself, assuredly, now there is possibly the only guy I’d ever switch lives with…
And he is yet again, and more importantly, still, the only guy I’d want to switch lives with. It’s been a long time coming, but as I’ve suffered from a ten-year black-out that started from Goldeneye’s Irish prick and ended today 22.22, I can just say that, hello. Hello. Hello! We are returning to the surface! We see light, we feel breath, we taste life. And hey, peach, cherry, and applepie, whoever cooked this one up is a general, because that’s how many stars I see.
As from now, I strike ten years from my life, and start afresh. I’m twentytwo, how about you?
And there I was, afraid that they had turned Bond into an action hero without class, afraid that he was the new GI Joe gung fucking ho. I feared for my life, thought the final nail to the coffin had been shot, package sealed and caterpillared deep underground. And there I was again, rising from the rubble through the Venetian window to the sky, whooping hard enough to break blood vessels.
Daniel Craig is the new Sean Connery. Wreak havoc, baby, wreak havoc on everything and everyone!
One should not allow me to write posts in this feverish frame of mind and heartpumping celebration. But one is never there to shackle me and my bleeding fingertips. They just keep on running like I’ve got ten, eleven counting the brain, twelve counting the cock, minds of my own, and everyone wants to find space for punch, punch, punch. My whole body is a platform for pukingly pugilistic extensions. Watch my shadow on the white wonder wall, unh unh unh!
Right now, nothing else matters than these four words that came right at the end of the credits to Casino Royale…
James Bond will return.