death from above

April 13th, 2036, a suitably sized asteroid by the name of Apophis will either hit Earth, or wooosch past reaaaal close. In case Apophis hits its target, it will slam down at a speed of 40.000 km/h, and it might not help to keep your elbows up – the impact should correspond to about 80.000 Hiroshimas. These are undeniable facts. Un-de-nia-ble.

We are all going to die! DIE, I say! DIE AY AY!!!

Unless the nerds in white coats save us, of course… they have actually been hard at work on this project for quite some time already, and have come up with six magnificent ways of busting asteroids [none of which include Bruce Willis!]:

1. Push the asteroid with a satellite
2. Heating up the asteroid
3. Blowing up the asteroid with a nuke
[Always a crowd favorite!]
4. Spinning the asteroid
5. Shooting the asteroid with a laser
[Oooh, we like, we like!]
6. Disturbing the trajectory of the asteroid with gravity, by parking a spaceship next to it. [According to my secret snitch, this is currently the hottest tip to deal with Apophis of 2036.]

Anyway, I recommend you hedge your bets and stay away from Kazakstan or Venezuela or Ghana come April 13th, 2036

4 thoughts on “death from above”

  1. That is a potentially genious idea that could turn radically catastrophic in the blink of an eye, but you know what? The American Planetary Society offers a reward of 50.000 dollars to the one who comes up with the best way to avoid the crash! Yes, seriously.

    Ah, I don’t know. My own calender didn’t go quite that far – but I wouldn’t be surprised… hahah!

  2. 50.000 dollars..? Hmm, I think I’ll wait for them to raise the award. Then I throw out my genious idea! It will be strange to call myself “Hero of the Earth, ha haa!

  3. Hah! What an evil scheme! I’m thinking the next Bond baddie… you need to work on the evil laughter, though… ok, have to admit 50K is not a whole lot for saving the world, so maybe you’re on to something here. Personally, I don’t get out of bed to save any worlds for less than 500 mil… and that is just for a small world.

    “Hero Of The Earth!” Hoho!

Comments are closed.