There was a time not so long ago, when this sport called Formula One was the most viciously tedious way to spend two hours on the couch. Some German dude was hellbent on winning, while the rest drove around in funeral procession.
Today, the sport is as never better.
Action sequences may not have unfolded according to the script – my script – in Melbourne, but there was not a grain of sand in my eyes as I tried to hang on to the slippery leather of the bucking sofa. Now, golden boy Lewis won, and I shall spill no more words on him, since everyone else will.
But the least Heikki Kovalainen deserved was second place. He drove a beautiful race, gave no ground, passed champions Kimi and Alonso at one or another point in the race, only to have the mistiming of the pace car rob him of glory. Well, X this in your diary: Heikki will be back for more. A lot more.
Oh, Kimi, oh, Kimi. From 15th on the grid to 8th in one lap – with a damn heavy car, on a track where overtaking is unreasonably tricky and risky – was a ravishingly rude god ride the likes of which are rare to none! Even Senna would have dropped a jaw. Mine fell so far I had to look for it.
In the early morning hour, the big house on Centralgatan was aloud with the sound of a man enraptured.
Eventually, with the added help of the pace car, Kimi soon sat in third with a shot at, why not, victory.
Tragically, while having run the ragged edge dull, it still managed to cut him in a splendid battle with fellow fastest-nation Heikki. I for one and two savored the moist action with the kind of pleasure usually derived from naked activities until the Iceman got racer’s disease and braked in his pants.
The battle was utterly unnecessary, however. A few sentences of screaming:
“Why did Ferrari not pit him when the pace car came out the second time?! He was coming in just as the pitlane closed, and had to turn out at the last second – they should have pitted him at the very next opportunity! No-o-o, instead they kept him racing hard on worn-out tires against the Macs for two-three nearly irrelevant laps, and the disaster that needn’t have struck, struck! Well, struck you!”]
Race already ruined, Kimi spun out yet again in another furious charge later in the race. Finally, the Ferrari broke down at the very end – Kimi must have strangled it with his throttle-foot, I suppose.
For once, it would be nice not to have to spend the year playing catch-up… but ok, let them run a little. We’ll reel ’em in later. Have some fun for now, let your egos grow, build castles in the sand. This one’s on me.
Nick Heidfeld, whom I’m fond of not rating very highly, came in second today. Serves me right – but circumstance did guide him to very good effect.
Nico Rosberg was utterly Finnish at the Melbourne GP, the lil’ Keke claiming his first podium of his career. It sure is nice to have some spares, should Kimi or Heikki get bad-lucked.
De fantastic facto, it looks highly unlikely that a Finnish guy will ever be outside the podium this year! Ah, ’tis so peachy I can hardly fathom the succulence of the taste. When I visit the cellar of memory in the future, I will dust off 2008 as exquisite vintage.