It was an uneventful race, where the best man won. I like those – because it almost automatically means that there is a Finnish dude on top. So, behold the prevail of the evil ICEMAN, the most unflappable man on earth. He is a mountain of coolness, a knife-killer, an institution of speed, and all other sorts of totally great-sounding praise to boot. Heck, I’m not afraid to admit he fills me with adoration bordering on gay.
The season has thus been restored to rightful architecture, with the construction of podium being Kubica in second, and third man yet another Northern soul, none other than Heikki Kovalainen. Yep, that’s how we drive up here: better!

I can not wait to sift through the British media – miracle man Lewis Hamilton is not the religion after all. A sect, tops. It pleases me to no little effect that McLaren teammate and so-called number two, Kovalainen, beat him in both qualifying and race. You should have known that we don’t play second fiddle in this country.

Ah, national pride. What a splendid source of chest-puffing!

Melbourne, as the wiseness of time has afforded us, turns out to be a freak accident of circumstance. Ferrari is faster than McLaren. Bad luck in the form of those pesky three letters D, N and F is the only thing standing in the way of another c-ship heading my… I mean, Kimi’s way.
Certainly, soft-headed Ferrari teammate Massa is but a blip on the road. Zero points after two races to no one’s fault but his own will only increase his speed – of departure. The mill of rumors is working on Vettel, I hear…

But where is JJ? In the commentator’s booth, that’s where. Former F1 racer JJ Lehto is back not on but next to the track for MTV3 Max, dispensing us hard-paying customers with nutritious nuggets of insight. JJ has this cutely peculiar habit of Finnish-fying foreign words to fit his mouth – Rubens [Barrichello] is Ruupenssi, Michael [Schumacher] was Maikkeli, and so on. This time, however, he outdid himself, as he accidentally happened to refer to Lewis Hamilton as Lewis Hämäläinen.

How I laughed!

54 thoughts on “sepanggg”

  1. The second race of which I’ve seen nought… as a traditionalist, I’ve decided to enter the season with the European races.

    Just kidding. I was off to a short break in Dresden, a city of pleasant surprises and utter beauty. But of co9urse, I gathered the results from the hotel TV screen and very much looked forward to this post. Hot and humid Malaysia, what better place to thrive for Kimi and Heikki than Sepang? But it looks to me that the championship is very much on with the Beamers in the thick of things. My prediction of Nick winning his first GP could become true faster than even I expected. And what of Massa, who turns out to be a rather lousy driver (too lousy for another constructor’s title in red?)? If I were an Italian count I would divert to Nico R. insteasd of Vettel, though. But more experience comes at a higher price, certainly, and I would a actually like to see Williams continuing their progress throughout the season. Glad to see Heikki ahead of the Finnish-british cross-country skier turned F1 prodigy. Laughing stock of the year, however, HAS to be his aloofness Fernando Alonso…

    Slightly off topic, no less interesting: Saturday’s Bild-Zeitungs blend of rubble and roses has a piece on Maikkeli in his first street bike race. Schon stark genug für die Motorrad-WM? is of course rubbish, as he is too heavy for MotoGP, but apparently he has pledged himself to racing superbikes in the SKOOX-Cup, whatever that is. (Will find out immediately.)

  2. Hmhmhmhm, now the news wires are speculating on Alonso as a possible target for Ferrari for next season.

  3. The Beemers have surprised everyone but you. A very pleasant addition to the upper playground of the field, I must say. This time I won’t shit on Nick’s chances, because if I did, he’d probably get one in. Still… nah.

    Well, Massa was the one who was most vocal against the banning of traction control… and now we know why. He can’t drive without driver aids. Oh, his shares are so low right now.

    Ah, it pleases me greatly to see Alonso languishing, just languishing. The Renault team is crap this year – as they were last year. No wonder Heikki didn’t get anything done in the first half of 07. Now, see what he’s doing in a McLaren in 08.
    Sadly, Alonso is still rated highly enough to get bidders, and one of them might very well be Ferrari. I don’t really want that dork there to poison the atmosphere, altho I have little doubt that Kimi will outclass him, anyonecomer. Of course, if Alonso continues to do very little, most will eventually forget all about him. This scenario works for me.

    Maikkeli is awesome on a bike, there is no doubt about it. What the heck is that guy made of? No car guy has ever been remotely good on bikes. Vice versa, but not from car to bike. I am in awe.
    He won’t stand a chance in MotoGP [I don’t think he’s too heavy for it – F1 guys are not the heavy kind], but in a lesser series, he could be a bit of a dude and a threat. If there is anything I learned during the drought of F1, it is to never count Schu out. There is simply something about his understanding of the limits of adhesion that is utterly scary… and if he trains and trains and trains… as we know he can… people will stop laughing very soon. I’m on his side this time!!!

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