It was an uneventful race, where the best man won. I like those – because it almost automatically means that there is a Finnish dude on top. So, behold the prevail of the evil ICEMAN, the most unflappable man on earth. He is a mountain of coolness, a knife-killer, an institution of speed, and all other sorts of totally great-sounding praise to boot. Heck, I’m not afraid to admit he fills me with adoration bordering on gay.
The season has thus been restored to rightful architecture, with the construction of podium being Kubica in second, and third man yet another Northern soul, none other than Heikki Kovalainen. Yep, that’s how we drive up here: better!
I can not wait to sift through the British media – miracle man Lewis Hamilton is not the religion after all. A sect, tops. It pleases me to no little effect that McLaren teammate and so-called number two, Kovalainen, beat him in both qualifying and race. You should have known that we don’t play second fiddle in this country.
Ah, national pride. What a splendid source of chest-puffing!
Melbourne, as the wiseness of time has afforded us, turns out to be a freak accident of circumstance. Ferrari is faster than McLaren. Bad luck in the form of those pesky three letters D, N and F is the only thing standing in the way of another c-ship heading my… I mean, Kimi’s way.
Certainly, soft-headed Ferrari teammate Massa is but a blip on the road. Zero points after two races to no one’s fault but his own will only increase his speed – of departure. The mill of rumors is working on Vettel, I hear…
But where is JJ? In the commentator’s booth, that’s where. Former F1 racer JJ Lehto is back not on but next to the track for MTV3 Max, dispensing us hard-paying customers with nutritious nuggets of insight. JJ has this cutely peculiar habit of Finnish-fying foreign words to fit his mouth – Rubens [Barrichello] is Ruupenssi, Michael [Schumacher] was Maikkeli, and so on. This time, however, he outdid himself, as he accidentally happened to refer to Lewis Hamilton as Lewis HÃ¤mÃ¤lÃ¤inen.
How I laughed!