a decade of sorrow / a celebration of memories

14.1.2009. It has now been 10 years since my father suddenly died. From afar and to anyone else, a decade might seem like a seventh of a lifetime, but to me, 14.1.1999 was yesterday, forever yesterday, when all my troubles seemed so far away.

I sat by his gravestone, lit a candle, and looked to the stars. In the big picture, there can not possibly be a meaning of life. But emotion begs to differ, and pain plain argues.

Be what may, come what will, if I have learned anything in this past day or decade, it is that if the longing is heavy to bear, it is for a very good reason. The perpetual tear I shed is equal to the eternal love I have for my father.

I hate you for dying, dad. It was the only mistake you ever made.

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