Duude. If I was still carving out curves on the downside of the upside, I’d do it on one of these babies. Babes. Bababoo. Boobiedoo, and beaver too. That’s right, Burton, snowboard company par excellence, recently introduced their latest licks, and it’s all centerfold! Hef was here, man! Actually, he probably was there.
1970s Playboy! I burn rubber in my imaginary Camaro until my neck sports a mullet. Bite me where it hurts, bunny, let’s go to the grotto.
This must be the marketing coup of the decade – which makes it all the more impressive when you consider that it is the oldest trick in the book. But it is not the tits and tarts per se – that would be boring as baloney – no, it is the 1970s! Mark my words, the 70s are the new 60s. Out of focus, but better for it. Hazy, beige and a bit furry. Warm. Comfy. No surface, only depth. So soft. Group hug.
“Group hug!” Playmates of the seventies, can you hear me?! I ask for a group hug and according to vintage Playboy code you are obliged to respond. Arms outstretched already. “Grouup huug!”
They already tried to ban these Burton bunnies in the States. Naturally, that is all the endorsement one could ever need. This is truly the coolest product on planet Pyton. I want one. And maybe I wouldn’t even take the board outside… no, screw that. I’d much rather cosy up on the shag carpet with my centerfold, fireplace crackling, listening to Abba tapes, drinking Campari, playing Scrabble in a turtleneck.
[O, bless my inner vision.]