gaycruiser and manbruiser

We never left house without our rental PT Cruiser, which thrilled us to bits at first. Then it was quickly named the Gay Cruiser by the locals, who we met at infamous waterhole Tahiti Nui.

By the by, did you know that Jackie Kennedy the ultimate icon herself went to Tahiti Nui back in the day? We thought that was way cool, so we also went. Many many times. The bands were a’shaking, the rum and cokes abundant, and the action sweaty, sweet and sour.

In any case, the Gay Cruiser was a Mexican dog. The lights kept flashing on the dashboard, it kept cutting out, and a couple of times it stalled in the middle of very narrow mountain roads. Usually at the moments when a jacked-up Chevy rode our tail, and barely managed to brake before it would have plunged us off a very steep cliff. So, after coming close to death on too many an occasion, we took it back to Thrifty. They gave us a new one – in burgundy…

Well, in its defense, Gay Cruiser number 2 got on with the business of working properly. And if you pressed the pedal hard, it made a lot of noise, which is better than quiet. It didn’t go, though.
Obviously, we didn’t ride in style in comparison with the locals. Look at that evil ol’ Blazer in the back… creepiest thing I ever saw. Confusingly, sort of cool at the same time.

Of coz, that’s just something the cat dragged in. You ain’t nuttin’ on Kauai, unless you have a flippin’ big blacked-out pimped-out latest Silverado, jacked-up beyond belief, running treads the size that would shame a Massey-Ferguson, couple of surfboards in da back, V8 rumbling impossibly loud. Holy haole, get the hell out of their way. You thought surfers were nice laid-back dudes, right? Pah. Local surfers are angry animals, always looking to bite the hands that feeds.

8 thoughts on “gaycruiser and manbruiser”

  1. Interesting to hear that the PT is known as the Gay Cruiser beyond the other side of the American seaboard as well. I had heard a very similar judgment from the Orlando, Florida area a couple of years ago, where the Cruiser and apparently the Mini Convertible are known to be de rigeur with same-sex couples. On a similar note, in the land of the autobahns, the Scirocco and the Audi R8 are referred to as Gayrocco and Gay8 in VW engineering circles. Or are they engisneering circles? Hopefully not, since VW engineers are not quite in the same bracket regarding their sense of taste and fashion as same-sex couples – at least as far as cliches go.

  2. How odd to hear that the R8 has been tagged with gay stigma. I thought lowslung sportscars were designed for troubled middleaged cashpockets with bald spots and potbellies, who at least on surface pretend to be straight… No arguing about the PT Cruiser, though. It is most gay. And certainly no doubt about the sexual preferences of the Chevy Blazer; tis a very mean gay-killin’ machine.

  3. In a few years, kids will look at your photos and the GMC will be known as the modern triceratops, fighting with the T-Rex Blazer that ran on PT cruisers for breakfast. And they will wax lyrical about them.

  4. There is a small – quite small – part of me that wants to sell my Porsche and get a big bad Chevy Blazer kingoftheroadmobile. Not many thousand years ago, we were hunters, after all…

    Mostly, though, I just like saying it out aloud. Try it. “Chevy Blazer”. Man! What a trip! It is not possible to sound more bad-ass than that. I suddenly feel like tattooing an eagle onto my ass…

  5. You can’t have the Blazer. Johan’s T-Bird wouldn’t be safe in the driveway when he comes to Karis. You’d have to build a huge kennel and have a sign – BEWARE OF THE BLAZER – in front of your house.

  6. True. The bird would be a light snack for the mighty Blazer… come to think of it, what a great deterrent of thieves and various riffraff. If I was looking for a cheap TV, I certainly wouldn’t break and enter aaanywhere near a house with a B-b-blazer in the driveway. The last smell on earth could too easily be the shotgun powder majestically rising towards the nightsky…

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