size 4

babyVans.jpg

Strike a wee pose. The first baby-item I ever purchased, early this summer: a pair of black and white Vans in size 4!

At the time, standing in the baby section at Stockmann, I did not know whether it was going to be a boy or a girl – but these tickled my inner cute-meter to the max. I squealed in delight and held them close to my chest.

Little miss cool chick will have outgrown these most diminutive of Vans long before she takes her first steps. But I think she’ll have a pretty good time kicking them off her tiny feet. And I will enjoy it at least as much putting them back on time after time.

father and daughter

There was no way we were going to wait until the grand entrance. We are impatient parents-to-be, and such are hard to stop. And thus, the story goes to be told and retold, the firstborn will be a GIRL, and lovelier than words, you mark mine nonetheless.

When I was young, I mean, when I was younger, and had ideas of fatherhood, I pictured a baby boy on a bike, a trike. Probably made out of orange plastic, with pedals and a horn that goes toot-toot. But I have come to realize that I only saw myself with my own dad. Dreams are of things you know. When it dawned on me that I will be the father to a daughter, it hit me, it hit me like the wind that make your eyes tear at the edges, and I knew that I could not be any happier was it a boy or a girl. And it will be a girl. I said that again, just in case you missed it. A girl made in heaven.

Yeah, you watch out now. I’ve been saving love my entire life for this. And bear with me if I sometimes go overboard; that is just me. I go overboard. Then I drown. And then I crawl back up. And do it all over again. Baby girl. Dad here. I know you want to say something. But I can’t hear you just yet. I’ll wait. We have so much to talk about, but I’ll wait. Until then.

Forgive your father for being an emotional creature. But the world is cold enough as it is. You melt mine.

lookylooky

The apple of my eye is growing a mile a minute, and even faster on the blog. Looky!

baby2.jpg

Watching this, I get a bit textless. I’m like… you know… wow… can you believe it? I want to, but do I dare? Do you know what I mean? I don’t know… I mean, I don’t know what to say. I catch myself dreaming, but I think I’m not. Even so, if I really am dreaming, I hope I never wake up.

We can’t wait to hold you, apple of my eye. I’m making baby rocking chair moves with my arms this very moment. Soon, I’ll probably start singing silly lullabies.

tinywiny

Gaze with grace upon the first-ever published picture of little tinywiny!

baby1.jpg

Our peewee poser is about 8 weeks old here. Basic physiology is in place, including arms and fingers. Nerve cells are forming in the brain. Eyelids cover the eyes. Breathing tubes extend to the developing lungs. All this and more in a package the size of your thumbnail!

I say, nature boggles your mind with solutions of only, only, the strangest kinds. What once was bodily fluids becomes a beating heart, and I get inspired to write nice: From next to nothing comes everything via the most intricate impossibility ever devised by no one at all.

Certainly, one does have to admit that getting your baby delivered by a stork would easily be more plausible than current method…

life starts here

There is huge seismic activity in the structure of my life. But instead of it crumbling down to the rumbling tones of the Richter scale, it grows even grander and richer.

Many of you already know what this is about. And for the rest, you have no idea how hard it has been to keep a wonderful secret like this one for so long. But see, I just wanted to wait and tell as many as I could in person, before I went public – like this:

I will become a father.

Take it in. I know my pulse ran. Early spring, when Madli announced that she was pregnant, I wept the whole day. Yes, we had been talking about it from just about the very day we met, but you can’t prepare for this; when reality looks at you the way only it can, your knees buckle and your bottom lip quiver. Every time I thought of myself as a father, my eyes leaked. I was simply too happy and I knew no other way of reacting to these new-new emotions.

Our celebration of arrival will take place at the end of November, early December. Fatherhood is but a step away.

Madli, I love you.

And to our unborn child, I have the following message. When you grow up one day – please, take your time, because I want you to be my baby forever – and you start leafing through ol’ daddy’s journals on the internet, know this. You’re the apple of my eye and you hold my heart in the palm of your tiny tiny hand.